Learned along the way

 A few of the things I learned along the way.

While playing at a jam at our music club which this time was outdoors, my song sheets kept blowing away. Another member commented to me that I typically play the same 3 or 4 songs in public and she encouraged me to memorize them. I took that one and what a difference it has made. I realize I was using the song sheets as a crutch and memorizing songs, once I did the first couple, became far easier than I expected. I’ve got about 50 songs or so that I can play completely from memory now. The ones I’ve not played in a while I have to look at the song sheet for couple of times and then it’s all back to memory. Besides being easier to play when around a campfire and there isn’t enough light to see your song sheets, playing from memory puts you much more into the flow of a song.

My first open mic was definitely a learning experience. And thankfully the audience was kind. I learned that in spite of nerves making you rush through your setup, resist the urge to rush. At this stage I’d only been playing for about a year and the other lesson I learned is to practice with as close as you can get to your stage setup in advance. I’d not sung in to a mic before and because I was still very much having to look at the fret board while changing chords, I could hear my voice fading due to the directional nature of the mic. So I tried to play a chord without looking at the fret board. Badly. As I said, the audience was kind.

I quickly got more open mics under my belt and they were going fairly well. I’d done a fair bit of public speaking in my career so being on stage in front of people didn’t cause me any major attack of the nerves. I still had nerves but nothing crippling or concerning to me. That is until I started playing more complicated fingerstyle on stage.

With my more complicated fingerstyle, suddenly I was faced with notes just not playing as I expected and when the nerves hit, they hit big time. There’s a saying about it being good to hit one’s head against a brick wall because it feels so good when you stop. That’s how I felt when I got off stage. But I was determined to get on top of the nerves. This puzzled my wife. She commented that when I play to family and friends either at dinner or around the campfire, I have no problem with nerves, so why bother trying to beat them on stage.

What I explained to her was that all my life I’d dreamed of being able to be on stage playing music. Many years I’d been in the audience wishing I could be “that guy” on stage. Now that I was able to grasp that dream, wild horses couldn’t keep me off the stage.

What did I do to get the nerves more under control? First was I stopped playing the more complicated songs I’d learned on stage. I stuck with the simpler and slower / easy songs. I also got my home gear setup a lot closer to the sort of gear I encountered on stage. Bought a good quality acoustic amp and the same mics we use at the music club. And I practiced a lot using that setup particularly before an open mic. It made a huge difference. I remember my first open mic after rehearsing with my improved gear. Dare I say I was almost relaxed.

The problem with nerves still reared it’s head from time to time and I was able to keep at it and do more open mics as each one gave me more confidence. I also formed a duo with another club member and we played at various open mics and got a coffee shop gig. I used to let him lead the first song due to my nerves only to find out his nerves were far worse than mine. After that I always lead with the first song. And I did a lot of mind over matter mental gymnastics to help me with my nerves. Reminded myself mentally of the many times performances had gone well, that sort of thing.

A bit less than 3 years ago we performed at a nearby open mic. It was at a community hall and there would have been about 100 people or more in the audience. They were a very welcoming crowd and as we started our set, I led the first song. It was going so well I mentally gave myself a high five. I mentally thought “wow, you are nailing this, what a star”… I also quickly adjusted the ego remembering the old saying about pride goes before the fall. Haha. We finished our set without issue and the crowd gave us the warmest of imaginable applause.

When I walked off the stage it felt like I was walking on 10 feet of air. It was an amazing experience and at that moment, every single frustration, ever hour of countless hours of practice, every sore fingers, etc, all was well and truly worth it.

Have I had problems with stage nerves since then? You bet. And I’m sure I’ll have them again. Yet it’s such a buzz when it goes well that I’ll keep at it. And thanks to all those great audience members who cheer and encourage us stage amateurs.